How To: Calm in Five Minutes
I logged onto a video call I’d been looking forward to — a roundtable discussion with peers of mine at similar companies. I suddenly felt my heart start pounding in my chest, my face start to flush, and I was afraid that when I spoke to introduce myself, my voice would break. I was on camera, so I did what I could; I took long, slow breaths until I felt my heart calm.
Our stress response is designed to help us through dangerous circumstances. But in our modern lives, sometimes that response is triggered by moments that are not truly dangerous, and impedes us from living as we’d like to.
There is so much to cover when it comes to stress, and many long-term practices that are key for soothing stress and anxiety. But what about when you’re on a date, about to give a presentation, or in a public setting and you start to feel that stress response kick in? This guide covers a few techniques for self-soothing on short notice.
What does stress look like?
Everyone has their own reaction to stress. Acknowledge and notice how stress appears and physically feels in your body. Some common physical signs of stress are:
face flushing
feeling overheated
rapid or pounding heart beat
tightness in throat
voice breaking
nausea
Prolonged stress brings on more symptoms, and can cause lasting damage to our bodies.
When you start to feel these symptoms and know stress is taking over, there are many ways to counteract it. Try some of these techniques and see what works for you. If anxiety hits you often, it can be helpful to keep your own list of ways to calm down.
Breathe deeply
See how slowly you can breathe. Inhale through your nose, filling your belly, over four counts or more. Exhale slowly, longer than your inhale. Repeat. Belly breathing can lower your heart rate and blood pressure. This is a simple and barely noticeable technique you can use in any situation.
While you practice your deep breathing, focus on your breath. Notice how it feels in your body; in your nose, in your stomach, in your chest. This light meditation will take your mind off of whatever triggered your stress response.
For a different kind of release, open your mouth and sigh out on your exhale. Or, exhale through your lips and let them flutter. Both a big sigh and a forced yawn can stimulate the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS), which calms your stress response. Your lips are also full of receptors for the PNS.
Touch yourself
Physical touch can be incredibly soothing, and you don’t need anyone else for that. Touching yourself also helps you to focus on your senses and your body rather than external inputs.
Try different kinds of touch and see what feels good to you:
Place your hands on your heart and stomach while you breathe. Notice how your body moves.
Give yourself a hug.
Rub your shoulders and neck, or that spot between your eyebrows - wherever you’re holding tension at the moment.
Touch your lips.
Use body language
Your mood shapes your body language, and your body language shapes your mood. You can trick your brain into giving you dopamine or making you feel more confident. Try these:
Smile. Smile again.
Place your feet firmly on the ground. Sit or stand up straight.
Lift your arms above your head and look up.
Adopt a power pose - chest lifted, head held high, arms up or on your hips.
Cool down
Take a cold shower, splash cold water on your face, or soak a small towel in cold water and wipe your face.
Make sure the water is really cold — your body will automatically relax and slow your heart rate to conserve heat and energy. It’ll also calm down any redness in your face.
Laugh out loud
Laughter really is the best medicine. It can immediately calm your stress response and stimulate circulation and muscle relaxation. Laughter also has long-lasting health effects over time, so take time for comedy on a regular basis!
Think back to a funny moment, look at the latest meme you sent to your friends, or watch your favorite funny video.
Tap (EFT)
This one seems a bit complicated, but if you learn the pattern, you can do it all in just a couple minutes.
EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Technique, and it’s a combination of tapping on key acupressure points, acknowledgement of your stress, and affirmation of your ability to handle it. It’s still being studied but has been shown to help anxiety and PTSD patients.
Check out this detailed tutorial video and explanation by Kelsey Patel. Experiment with your own affirmations and mantra.
The key acupressure points for EFT are:
outside edge of your palm
eyebrows
side of your eye
below your eye
below your nose
chin
under your collarbone
underneath your arm
top of your head
Let go of judgment
As always, these techniques aren’t extensive and won’t work for everyone. If you can’t calm down in five minutes, that’s ok. Respect yourself, trust your intuition, and employ a broader set of coping mechanisms that can help you over time.
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